What Friends are For
by phfatbeatrice
Summary: Fukawa is suffering after a couple of nasty panic attacks and is visited by Asahina, who had been working really hard to gain the trust of the author. Asahina comforts Fukawa to the best of her abilities, despite their lack of shared interests or personal lives.


Fukawa bit her lip and let out little whimpers as she held her head. She had sat like this, cradling herself, for many hours. After a particularly bad panic attack, she was left with a heavy sense of self loathing that caused her to go into an even worse panic attack. She had done a lot of things to try to calm herself down, like thinking about ideas or pinching her skin. She had thrown out the blades she had used to cut herself since she had been trying to quit.

A knock at her door caused her to let out a yell and she fell out of her bed. She got up before opening the door just a crack. She had no idea who was going to be at the door, but she knew that sometimes Naegi would check on her. However, she was pleasantly surprised to find that the person at her door was Asahina, a swimmer that Fukawa had sort of befriended. She didn't say anything to the girl, just stood at her door.

Asahina smiled at Fukawa and asked her, "Can I come in? You look like you need someone."

Fukawa nodded, stepping out of the doorway. She went back to her bed, pulling her knees up to her chin and resting her head on her knees quietly.

Asahina closed the door behind her, locking it just like Fukawa liked. She walked around the mountains of books and notebooks on Fukawa's floor to sit next to Fukawa. She looked at Fukawa with a concerned face, "Have you been crying? What's on your mind?"

Fukawa hugged her knees tighter before mumbling out, "I'm a u-useless waste of space."

Asahina shook her head, "You aren't! You are an amazing author and a wonderful friend." She looked directly at Fukawa, despite the fact that Fukawa was staring off into space.

"F-friend? I do nothing a f-friend does." Fukawa said, making sure not to make eye contact with Asahina.

The swimmer put her hand delicately on Fukawa's shoulder, "Sure you do. I mean, you let me in here. And you have been trying really hard to care more about yourself."

"But... But I cut myself again, d-despite saying I wouldn't a-anymore..." Fukawa said weakly.

Asahina shook her head, "I told you to come talk to me if you felt like hurting yourself."

"I... I know..." Fukawa turned her head away from Asahina, "B-but it was really late at night, I d-didn't want to wake you..." She had always struggled with anxiety mostly at night, so she rarely reached out to her friends.

"You can come to me at any time, I don't care if you wake me. Fukawa, I'm your friend, I'm going to be here for you."

Fukawa shook her head, feeling tears teasing her eyes. She hated crying, she didn't want Asahina to see her ugly face.

Without any warning, Asahina wrapped her arms around Fukawa, pulling her close. "Shh, I'm here. You don't have to tell me what's happened, just know that I'm here."

Fukawa let go of her legs, letting them fall off of the bed. She leaned on Asahina, slowly. She didn't return the hug, but did accept the tan girl's embrace. She put her thumbnail in her mouth, acting on her habit to bite her nails.

Asahina smiled a little, glad that Fukawa didn't push her away, despite her average personality. Of course, this wasn't the first time Asahina had sat with the writer while she was struggling through things. Asahina had worked toward getting close with Fukawa for months, after finding her attempting to swim and discovering a little about her home life, her other personality, and primarily her self harming actions. Asahina hated leaving Fukawa alone after finding all of this out about the writer and made it a personal goal to make sure Fukawa had someone close to her.

Fukawa didn't move after leaning on Asahina and had closed her eyes, almost in relaxation. She continued biting her nail and remained completely silent.

Asahina sat there, resting her hand on Fukawa's shoulder. She didn't mind that this could take hours. Asahina had decided that it didn't matter what it took, she would continue welcoming Fukawa into her heart in an attempt to make Fukawa more comfortable with herself and the idea of others.

After more than an hour, Fukawa finally shuffled, pushing up from off of Asahina's shoulder. "I... I think I'm b-better." She spoke softly, feeling much calmer then she had before the swimmer had arrived.

Asahina smiled, "I'm glad. That's what friends are for, right?" Asahina was glad to see that Fukawa's eyes looked slightly brighter, despite the obvious lack of sleep on her face.

Fukawa nodded, without speaking again. She looked down at her lap, feeling awkward again.

"You know what?" Asahina suddenly said, causing the writer to look up at her, "How about I help you get ready for bed. Maybe you could fall asleep faster that way?"

Fukawa thought about it for a second before looking away and asking, "H-how could you help with that?"

Asahina's brows furrowed, "Hmm... Good question... Well, maybe I could give you a comfortable pair of PJs and maybe unbraid and brush your hair." Asahina said.

The writer continued looking away before mumbling out, "I t-think I'd like that..."

Asahina smiled and stood up from Fukawa's bed, "Okay, I'll be right back! I have a pair of PJs that I'm sure you'll like!" With that, she slipped out of the room, leaving Fukawa alone for a moment.

She returned very soon after, almost as if she had run back and forth from two rooms. She walked up to Fukawa after locking the door behind her again. She offered the girl a long-sleeved, pair of PJs. They were dark purple and small, something that seemed like it probably wouldn't have fit Asahina well. "I don't know why I brought these in the first place, the top is way to tight on me for it to be comfortable to sleep in. Also, I don't like sleeping in pants."

Fukawa took the outfit slowly before unfolding it and observing it carefully. It had a long-sleeved top and a pair of pants, both made from a soft, fuzzy material. She rarely ever changed clothes for sleeping, so she didn't know if this was going to help at all with her sleep.

"Ah! I just remember that you are really self-conscious; do you want me to turn around?" Asahina asked, looking at Fukawa.

Fukawa shrugged, "Doesn't matter." She said quietly, before she started unzipping her uniform top. She slipped the loose top off of her thin frame, revealing her arm that had white medical tape and gauze on it. She stood up and slipped the pants of the pyjamas on under her skirt, before unbuttoning, then unzipping it. She let it fall to the floor before she took the white tank top off and slipping the long sleeve shirt over her almost sickly thin body.

Asahina had unintentionally watched the writer as she changed, observing her to see where she had cut. She had found out after talking with Fukawa fo a while, that the pale girl would cut pretty much anywhere, because she would run out of places that wouldn't be visible. This was the first time she had seen the girl's stomach and she saw exactly what Fukawa had meant, having seen the angry scars that ran across her thin abdomen.

Fukawa sat back down on her bed, leaving her uniform on the floor. "T-this is comfortable." she said, obviously not noticing that Asahina had seen her change, despite the fact that Asahina had seen her arms and legs before.

Asahina shook her head a little, trying to get the image of the girl's thin, scarred body out of her mind. That image had haunted her for a few nights after Fukawa had shared everything with her. She looked at Fukawa before sitting back on the girl's bed, right where she had been when she comforting Fukawa moments prior.

Fukawa sat, not looking at Asahina. After a few moments of fiddling, Fukawa spoke up. "Um, m-my hairbrush is in the d-desk over there." She pointed to a drawer that had a small path cleared within the array of writings and source materials.

Asahina jumped a little, having forgotten the offer to brush the writer's hair. She stood up and went to the drawer, carefully planning each step as she went. When she opened the drawer, she was a little upset by some other things in the drawer (mainly a large amount of scissors which she recognised to be Genocider Syo's). She knew that as long as Syo's obsession with sharp pairs of scissors continued, it would be much harder for Fukawa to stop hurting herself. At the same time though, Asahina found a certain level of unease with being around Syo and that feeling heightened when she talked with Syo. She would never ask anything like that of Syo, just because, despite al of their pleas that they were so different, the two girls sharing a body were both hurricanes of emotions that were very unpredictable.

The swimmer grabbed the brush without mentioning her dislike for Fukawa having so many sharp things in her room and carefully walked back to the bed. She sat down before asking Fukawa, "Do you want me to take your braids down, or are you going to do it?"

Fukawa shrugged, "I g-guess you can do it." She said softly.

Asahina took in a small breath before grabbing one of Fukawa's braids and carefully removing the rubber band (which she had tried to advice Fukawa not to use) that the girl had used to hold her hair in the braid. She unbraided the writer's hair carefully, not really knowing if Fukawa was a tender headed person or not. She quickly finished, surprised by how little Fukawa's hair was actually tangled. She started on the other braid.

Fukawa had her hands in her lap as she stared at her desk. Se cleared her throat a little before speaking, something she rarely did unprovoked, "Y-you are the first p-person to brush my hair s-since mom moved out." Her words were quiet.

Asahina smiled as she started brushing Fukawa's long hair at the ends, "I'm glad you have some trust in me."

Fukawa made a small noise as if agreeing. She let out a small sigh, not sure of what to do or say next. She knew that there were always many awkward silences between here and Asahina, as both tended to be unsure of what to say next.

After a few moment moments of silence, Fukawa spoke again. "You are a-also the first person to t-try and help me w-with all of this..." Fukawa felt almost embarrassed to admit that, but she had every right not to share every single detail with people, since her other personality was responsible for, at the moment, 27 murders. She felt grateful often for Asahina's willingness to deal with her, knowing that her own hands had murdered 27 men.

"That's what friends are for." Asahina said as she brushed through Fukawa's hair, making sure that every little tangle was gone.

Fukawa put her thumbnail between her teeth again before mumbling, "Y-you are also my first friend." She felt embarrassed as she said that. She was nearly eighteen years old and yet she had never had a friend before. She had had people who brought themselves close to her in school when she was younger but they had just tormented her and bullied her to the point that she attempted suicide, where her dad withdrew her.

Asahina stopped brushing for a second before continuing and saying, "And definitely not your last. I hear Naegi's been trying to get closer to you."

Fukawa made that agreement noise again before removing her mail from between her teeth and talking again, "B-but I can't handle so many p-people at once..."

This was one of those things that made Asahina think that Fukawa was a hurricane of emotions. She wanted many friends, but her anxiety and irrational fear of others (as Asahina learned, it became less and less irrational) caused her to refuse to get close to others, despite how much she desired it. Asahina decided that for the time being, she would politely ask Naegi to give Fukawa some space.

Fukawa spoke yet again, her words very weak, "T-th-thank you." It was obvious that those words hadn't left her mouth in a long time.

Asahina shook her head as she finally reached the writer's scalp with the brush, "There's no need to thank me. I'm here for you no matter what, even if that means just giving you a well needed hug or brushing your hair to help you wind down at night. Maybe next time we hang out we can share donuts and sit at the pool!"

Fukawa cracked a smile for a second, which was a strange feeling. "I-if we do that, I'll just put my f-feet in..." She said, not sounding too opposed.

"Then that's a deal! Next time we hang out, we'll soak our feet in the pool and eat donuts." Asahina put down the brush when she said that, running her fingers through Fukawa's long, surprisingly healthy rich wine coloured hair.

Fukawa quietly agreed, closing her eyes at the feeling of her friend's fingers running through her hair.

Asahina kept messing with Fukawa's hair for a few moments before unintentionally ruining a moment for Fukawa. "Are you feeling more relaxed?" She asked, leaning over Fukawa's shoulder.

Fukawa nodded slowly, not wanting to share that one thing that relaxes her is her hair being messed with.

Asahina grinned really big before speaking again, "If that's the case, then you should probably get all comfortable in bed before the moment's gone."

Fukawa understood when Asahina meant. It was much like a brilliant novel idea. If she didn't get up that moment and write at least an outline, the story would never really amount to much. "A-alright."

Asahina nodded before standing up and taking the brush back where it was before, once again putting an effort out not to mention the masses of scissors in the drawer. She turned back to Fukawa before saying, "I'm going to go, since it is almost midnight. If you need anything, anything at all, come wake me up okay? I want you safe."

Fukawa nodded, even though she would not come wake Asahina up if another nightmare kept her up or startled her awake in the night. She just could not understand how someone could go wake another person up because of a personal problem. Fukawa already felt like a bother enough as is, she didn't need to add onto that by waking people up in the night.

The writer stood up and walked to the door, unlocking it and opening it, as if telling Asahina it was okay to leave.

Asahina walked to the door, before carefully and awkwardly wrapping one arm around Fukawa's shoulder to give her a hug. "Okay, good night. I really hope that you sleep well tonight." Asahina said that before unwrapping herself from Fukawa. She stepped out into the hall and made a little waving gesture at Fukawa, feeling like their goodbyes were always awkward.

Fukawa agreed with Asahina about a good night's sleep with a simple head nod. When Asahina waved at her from the hall, Fukawa waved back in a weak attempt to actually tell her good night - something she hadn't quite learned how to do yet without sounding strange, so she just generally avoided.

Once Fukawa closed the door, locked the knob once again, and turned the light off, she walked over to her bed and practically collapsed on it. She wasn't lying when she told Asahina she felt calm. In fact, she was exhausted, both physically and mentally from the panic attacks she had had that day. She quickly moved so that she was under her covers, with her face appropriately on her pillow, before removing her round rimmed glasses and letting out a deep sigh, closing her eyes.

For once in Fukawa's life, she felt like she was going to get a good sleep that night.


End file.
